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But then you notice that the kid who is right next to the portal to another dimension isn't disintegrating into millions of pieces, or even looking up from his goddamn cellphone. If you're wondering how in the world they dig out those perfect lanes, it takes a backhoe, a giant snow blower, and patience. These are mammatus clouds , aptly named for their resemblance to udders. What the lion is thinking.

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But if it's fake, then National Geographic is lying to us. The folklore goes that each winter, like magic, this man in the sock hat and goatee appears and, once everyone is asleep, swoops down and steals your television to sell it for meth money. Once the home started appearing on obnoxious "comedy" websites running lists of stupid crap like "weird houses," hundreds of tourists showed up at the remote location, some even trying to break in. That's Lake Berryessa in California, and the "drain" controls the water levels in the lake.

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